My absolute favorite non-scripted (well, mostly non-scripted) show on television is The Bachelor. I have a feeling I am not alone! Don’t you love it, too? I really look forward to Monday nights well in advance, and once a season wraps, I am beyond bummed! I then resort to stalking the couple on their social media accounts, trusting that Cupid will keep the newest Romeo and Juliet together forever. I am not lying when I say it is very important to me that they stay together, but I cannot easily rationalize why this is so important. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic?
The current Bachelor, charming Ben Higgins, just told TWO women he was in love with them, although he ventured into the “fantasy suite” with all three of the final women, but that’s beside the point. I usually like one of the two remaining women better than the other, but I love both Lauren B. and JoJo. And because I like them both, I am more emotionally invested than ever, and Ben seriously just has to spend the rest of his life with the woman he chooses in the end. For the love of my sanity. Please! Please be the next Kaitlyn and Shawn!
Up until this point, it has appeared that the producers have made an enormous effort to hold the Bachelor or Bachelorette back from disclosing his or her full feelings for contestants. No Bachelor or Bachelorette has declared their love before the final rose until now. But why did they allow Ben to share his feelings with not one, but two women? Did he mistake lust for love with one of them? Did he slip and tell Lauren he loved her, so producers encouraged him to tell JoJo as well in order to keep the audience guessing? Did the producers know how strong his feelings were for both women and advise him to share his feelings for ratings? I’m not sure we will ever know the true answer, but Ben alluded on camera and on his latest blog that he just couldn’t hold in his feelings for these women. So, if he truly IS in love with both of them at the same time, is that even possible?
My initial thought was that there is no way he is in love with both women and that producers either made him say it to both because he slipped and said it to one, or that he just mistook lust for love. But then I pondered the situation a little more deeply. He met all these women at once, and the women come from various places and backgrounds. Most of the contestants on the show would never encounter or date the Bachelor or Bachelorette in the first place, so that immediate diversity has to be a factor in providing more choices for the Bachelor or Bachelorette. Plus, the romance and media-hype surrounding the show probably allows the contestants to be more optimistic about finding love. The show IS romance- could it lead the Bachelor to think he found love when he really has not? Possibly. “Normal” couples often randomly meet at school, or work, or a bar, when finding love is usually a secondary priority, or not a priority at all. And meeting in the real world has real distractions and hindrances, such as, well, everyday life! Work, pets, grocery shopping, kids… But meeting on a reality television show that sensationalizes finding your “Prince Charming” or your “Cinderella” with elaborate dates and no distractions? Now that’s a true fantasy story! Who wouldn’t want that??
Which brings me to my next point…
I do think Ben found love, but I think he is in love with only one of these women. I am sticking to my original thought that he mistook lust for love with one (hopefully not both) of the women. And here is why: Love is something you CHOOSE. It is not entirely just a feeling. That is why he CHOOSES one woman in the end. Love IS a feeling at first, but love is also highly logistical. Ben has to think logistically about which girl fits better into the lifestyle he has built for himself, outside of the extravagance he has been submersed in for a few months. I do think he found someone he can love in the real world because I get the feeling he decided to do the show to find love, and I have no doubt he felt love with Lauren B. or JoJo. Both of the women give the impression they would be fantastic real-world loves!
I have to say, I really enjoy watching this season! Ben seems really genuine, and he has had a captivating group of women. I am exceedingly anticipatory of the finale. I predict it will be one of mixed emotions for viewers, since Lauren B. and JoJo both seem like kind women, and I can’t imagine how hard it was for Ben to say goodbye to one of them. Just as it was difficult to watch Caila go this week, it will be difficult to see one of the final two women left broken-hearted. But I am so looking forward to stalking the new couple on Instagram! Who do you think Ben chooses in the end? Please leave your comments below!
Thats what’s up this week. You’ll have to check back to see what inspires me next! Talk to you soon!